Genuinely GG
Genuinely GG

Episode · 1 year ago

Let's Talk Sex With Brandi Glanville & Polyamory Coach Magenta

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This week on Genuinely GG, Anita and GG talk with Brandi Glanville about her past, present, and future relationships and her struggles with trust. We also get some deep insight into the world of polyamory and learn about marriage, sex, and family through the experiences of Magenta, someone devoted to coaching and living a life of polyamory. From Straw Hut Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Straw media. You know her from Shaws of sunset. You know she doesn't hold back. We were all having sex, with each of us, with all of the people. But how is that different than an orgy? At the same time was yeah, time time I see I say, yeah, this is genuinely gg. Hey, guys, welcome to genuinely GG. You're here with me and Anita. Hey, no, hello, hello, what's up l front? Nothing much, not much. You Good? I'm great. What's new? Nothing, my covid arm is not doing too great. Which vaccine did you have? I got fiser and it's been February. Twelve was my second shot and I have really bad range of motion, constant pain tingling down my arm. So it's been. It's been a nightmare. But is that supposed to be like a normal side I don't think so. I think you have a side effect for like twenty four to forty eight hours of pain. But yes, has been kind of a kind of sucks. And she was like go to a doctor. I think so. I think to get get an MRI and get a son like physical therapy. But I'm high. That's rotime. It's pretty often the shot. Huh, the shot pready more fun with Youra there's a lot of Anton and Johnson shot you're getting. I don't I don't know right now. I'm just so nervous. That's a whole different, whole nother all different conversation. Like there's just so much going on. First of all, I know we mentioned DMX's situation last show and I just want to give my condolences to dmx to his family. So many of his videos are surfacing right now and just his his prayers and all the stuff that he puts out there. He was a very big, godly man, you know. So you see a lot of like religious prayers that he leads all the time and it's just so sweet and so sad as well. So I just want to, you know, send my condolences to DMX and his family. But other than that, the word on the street is is the world on a street? Oh my gosh girl. Okay, so one of my favorite daytime talk shows, the talk it is finally returning. It was gone for about a month. A lot of people know there was a whole situation that happened with Sharon Osborne and share underwood. What what happened was with Sharon Osborne, she was basically defending her really good friend Piers Morgan, yes, because he was sort of shooting down the whole situation about Megan saying there's racism, you know, at the palace and this and that she stood up for pears. It just sort of went left a little bit with her cohost on the show and Sharon left the show. Yes, she left, and now it's a month later and you know she's coming back and I don't know. Do you know if they're bringing anyone? Do you know the person to bringing in her? See? I Know Brandy was out there, which is going to be on the show today. We're going to have brand Alan and I know she's trying to get dibbs on Sharon Osborn's position. That was a surprise to me. I did not know that. Yeah, but I didn't think. I knew Sharon was out, but I didn't know that she was consider coming back or sure. So she has considered coming back or through Sharon or is she's done? No, no, Sharon's gone. She's she she left the show. Yeah, I think she was pretty upset with Sheryl. I think the way that it happened was that they are given their cute cards before the show they're they kind of go over a little bit about what the segment is, what they're going to talk about, kind of you and I do before we do a podcast, right, we're like, this is what kind of we're going to talk about. These are my notes, here's your notes. Whatever. It was not in her cards the questions that were being directed towards her. This is what you know, Sharon is saying. It was not in her cut cards. She felt very personally attacked when they were asking her the specific questions. So I think that when left and Sharon just you know, she left and she's talking about but I love the talk. I personally would also love one day to be on the panel of the talk. I would, I would totally yeah, on there that. Well, you see, oh my God, Brandy, watch out. Yeah, I'm petition, Randy. Yeah, seriously. I mean, you know, Pierce has this thing with Megan. He has this thing with that interview Maigan did with Harry and now, unfortunately, with the passing of Harry's Grandfather Philip, to do who Edinburgh, which we all know one nine nine hundred ninety wine. You know, much condolences to the royal family, to the Queen to his whole family, to everyone you know that's affected by that. I was watching, obviously, Russell Brands podcast video and he was just saying what it means for the people in in the UK to experience the loss of such a high ranked royal. You know what I mean, and it's just it's interesting. It's interesting and I I only know what I know about Philip from...

...the show the crowd right, like I feel like everyone at this point sort of is a little hurt from his death because we know them a little bit more from watching the crown on Netflix. You know. Have you been? Have you been watching? I have heard not only from you but from a number of people that it's really good and so it's definitely on my my list. I do have to watch it. It's really, really good. It's so good. Oh my gosh that the cast is amazing, the writing is amazing. I don't know how much is real. I my mind, I pretend like gets all real, you know, but I remember a couple seasons ago the queen herself was like that's not really the truth, and then I hear another royalist saying that's very close to the truth, you know. But I don't know. I mean, there was a lot of Philip in their Philip was a huge, huge role in the show the crown. For those of you watch you know that the queen was like couldn't get through what she did without so much support that he was giving her. And as a man to just stand behind your woman, your Queen, and just not have that ranking, that power that she does and you just support her so hard. I thought that that was beautiful. So, you know, a lot of respect out there and condolen sister Philip. I don't know if the crown is going to continue to play long enough to show his pay. I don't know. That'll be interesting because they just showed Princess Diana, yeah, coming up into the show and I don't know how far it's going to go. They showed some pretty weird stuff that like they showed a Philip as a cheater in the show. I heard that right, not from the show, I just kind of knew that about him. Yeah, they said that he had some affair with this Russian Ballerina, very famous Russian Ballerin at the Queen and the that the royal household or I don't know how it's considered, but they denied those allegations that he ever, you know, cheated on any anytime, that he I'm sorry I say that again. He denied that he had cheated any time ever on his wife and when he was asked about it one time by the reporter, his response was specifically this. Good God, woman, have you ever stopped to think that four years I have never moved anywhere without the policeman accompanying me, so how the hell could I get away with anything like that? So his response being that he's obviously has a tale every day. There's no way he can cheat. He has, you know, security all around him. That was his, you know, response to that. But that leads us to the topic of today's show, which is primarily about, you know, relationship dynamics and the concept of what cheating looks like, because it looks so different in so many different people's minds. So I would like to go into introducing our first guest. Our first guest is known to many, many, many many. She's over there sipping her little thing right now because she knows what I'm about to say. Oh what is that? Okay, okay, it's water, just water, it promis. Okay. Well, our first guest is known to many as a feisty little spitfire. Her lack of filter has gotten her into a lot of trouble, but it is also gained her much success. She is a former model, a TV personality, fashion designer and an author. The whole world got a little dose of her personal life when she was cast in two thousand and eleven for the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Ha Ha, ha ha ha, oh my God. But just two years before joining the show she was involved in a very public scandal and as her then husband and father of two sons, Eddie Sybian, was revealed to be having an affair with famous country singer Lean rhymes. We all watched as her marriage was destroyed and her faith in people became damaged. But she then went on and appeared on big TV shows like celebrity apprentice and being a Lee single and wrote two books, drinking on tweeting and drinking and dating, which both became New York Times best sellers, which is very cool. She's not just a public persona, she's a hard worker, a kick ass mom and a personal friend of mine. So please give a genuinely gg welcome to Brandy Granville. Hey girl, hey, hi, how are you good? How are you well? From my Intro, I'm fully wrecked. I'm very damaged. I'm damaged good. You weren't really good. Your your divorce was pretty fucked up. It was a fuck up situation for the whole world to watch. Yeah, they really was. And ten years later, I can say that I'm still fucked up, but I'm a lot happier, a lot better. I was just on your podcast and I noticed that you're still fucked up because, like when we talk about anything related to you know, seeing multiple people or cheating, this cheating that you just you're you...

...start turning a little red. I see it. I see it. Well, I think. I mean it's pretty normal for people that have been cheated on to have trust issues and I, unfortunately, as much as I've worked on myself and been to therapy and still going to therapy, I still have trust issues. And you know, I don't I mean, I'm trying to work through them, but I don't see them going away. It sucks. No, I mean, I've been working on it for ten years. They're still here. Yeah, well, yeah, what is this? What is this? I hear about you wanting to to be a take share in Osborne's place on the talk. Yeah, hello, I do. I really want I have so many opinions and I just feel like it would be really great to have someone from like the pop culture background instead of, you know, the actress. Isn't everything that they're on there just to get like a different perspective? And, believe it or not, I can talk without cussing. Really. You know what's word about? I just really enjoy cussing. It's not so I have to do it for someone who really genuinely enjoys cussing like myself. I really understand how to apolcult this because, like every time I would have to do like an interview and appearance or something like that, I would ask my public to Steve like am I allowed to curse on this thing, because if I can't, I'm like, you know, it's like it's like a just like stuttering situation, like it's fucking know, everything sounds better when you it does the you know, Flword, fuck passion are it will pay us in front of it. So it's just well, you know the fact that you know, like you said, ten years plus later, you're still, you know, harboring some of those feelings leads me into what I wanted to do with bringing up my next guest, because, you know, I had a podcast recently with potty Patty Stinger and I wanted to talk about so I had a podcast recently with Patti stanger, the millionaire matchmaker, and I wanted to more so talk about polyamory and how that I'm sort of, you know, trying to explore polyamory for myself, and I do feel like that conversation sort of shifted into what normal relationships are supposed to look like and that I haven't found the one or you know, or maybe I'm a complex person, Yada, Yada. Right. So my cousin Damien listen to that podcast and he was like, Oh my God, you have to meet my friend Magenta. She is a polyamory coach. She's amazing. She's exactly everything that, like, you always tell me about, like she's a cool person for you to meet and get that information out of. So I was really, really excited because I saw something on her site where she has described her coaching as process. It's a process, as a collaborative effort focused on creating a Nur train, philosophies, emotional tools and perspective shifts that can help you thrive in your non standard relationship dynamics, and the reason that stood out to me was because of the part that said perspective shifts. So I want to go ahead and introduce Magenta to genuinely gg. Thank you for being here, magent. I'm really, really excited to meet you and get into your brain. Thank you so much for having me. This is really exciting. Thank you for being here. I mean in a world that is still considering polyamory to be taboo and unconventional and there's just so many stereotypes that are just attached to polyamory, I really appreciate that you not only took ten steps I had, to make people like me feel a little bit more welcome into the poly world, but you also are in the driver's seat living a polyamory. Is Life correct? Oh yes, yeah, absolutely. What is that polyamorous relationship or life look like for you right now? Right now? So I had been actually I'm going through a tail end of a divorce. So divorce is still happen for polly people, but, and that is you know, they are still part of my sort of extended family. Obviously we have kids together. So. But my my polycule as it stands right now, is my partner, Jason. We've been together for about five years, okay, and he's been really amazing and wonderful, especially helping me deal with, you know, the heartbreak and shifting things with the kids. It's been amazing to have that support. Like going through a divorce or a major break up without a partner sounds like a living hell. It's so grateful that I've had that support. And then I also have another partner named Justin, and he and his wife are just wonderful people that I absolutely adore. That's amazing. Yeah,...

...we've been also dating for for five years now. Oh Wow, oh wow. We're going to take a quick break, but when we come back, my gents, hat, I would love to introduce you to my friend Brandy Gland Bill. I my wounds are healed. I don't have pain with Eddie anymore and I night and we're good, but I still have trust issues. My gents, hat, I would love to introduce you to my friend Brandy Gland Bill. Grandde you, obviously we were just mentioning that. You have been through a very horrible public divorce and still kind of, you know, messed up by that Magentai. For someone like you who sees that, what are the first thoughts that come to your mind when you see or meet someone like grandy that's been through a really hard, hard break up and where the the the pain is still lingering? I think one of the one of the things to be okay with is discomfort. It is okay, there's nothing broken about you or messed up about you, in having fear and having trepidation, in having wounds that aren't healed. It's okay too. I just want to stop you really quick because I my wounds are healed. I don't have pain with Eddie anymore. I I literally they I was just at their house yesterday. You know, they're my pot like. I spend the time of time with them and we're good. But I still have trust issues. Like there's no pain, I'm happy to see them, I'm you know, it's all good. So I just want to make that clear. So yeah, I think not a headline that says Brandy still heartbroken. I think that was actually my intention, which was more so hurt her. Ten years something later. Her issue is there with with trusting people, whether it's a man or a woman. Because she was probably he betrayed by both both of them in the relationship. And I remember reading an Article One time about brandy and that feeling that she had from the woman that was sleeping with her husband, feeling like that I got your man, that got your family, type of vibe. So it's fucked her head up a little bit like, okay, I can't trust men. And guess what, when we're talking about girls, you know have each other's back. Apparently they don't in her case. You know. So I'm here. I don't I don't believe in cheating. I'm against it by all means, but I also believe in open relationships. So I'm stuck as to how do I give my friend Brandy Advice? You know right, Um, I think that okay, so I have a little bit. I feel like this is a little bit of a nihilistic philosophy, but it's brought me a lot of comfort and I usually don't bring this out in like if I'm having a session, till later, until I know if, like this is going to resonate. But when you've dealt with the trail of trust, I think the thing that brings me comfort. This is a little dark it's at the the best possible end to a relationship is that eventually it's so wonderful and it's beautiful, it's loving and it's close, it's reliable and eventually somebody dies. That is the best possible end, is that you live alive with somebody and it doesn't end until somebody dies. Sorry, I'm listening. Well, when you say somebody dies, do you mean figuratively speaking, or the actual like an existence of someone? I mean literally. The way our society judge is a successful relationship is that somebody dies before it ends. And the reason I say that, I don't I don't say that to just make everything feel really dire right. It's that it's that if that is the best possible scenario, then what is the point of not trying? The best you can get is things are going to things are going to suck, you're going to get hurt. You will get hurt one way or another, and we have a choice, when we've been hurt, to continue to eage and to find find the joy that is that is there for us in our lives and to be brave, even though it's really scary, to take the knowledge that you went through a horrible, public, awful situation and you survived. You did well. You. I'm I'm sorry, my Genta. I feel like that's a dark of a way, I mean in a to say that you're going to get hurt either way. Why does it have to be viewed as you're going to get hurt either way? Fuck it, enjoy it for as much as you can until it's gone. I see it a little bit differently. I just see it us be okay with whatever it is, whether you are...

...going to get hurt or where you're not going to get hurt, because you're not always going to get hurt. Correct. Yeah, well, that that's actually kind of what I was what I was going to say something. He has shown herself to herself to have an enormous amount of strength, which means if things go sour, you will have the capacity to survive it, and so I feel like that self, knowledge that you know that you can handle things when they go sour, means that you can be brave enough to be open, to still be open to love and connection, even though there's risk in vault. Oh yeah, I mean, let's be clear. I'm very open to dating and loving and you know, I think I've been in love since my ex husband, like like, I definitely loved someone, it was different. My question is, like, for me, do I need butterflies all the time? Is Love Different the second time around? You know, I don't know. So it's hard for me, but I definitely put myself out there. I date. You know, I'm a big girl. I've had my heartbroken. Yes, besides Daddy, obviously, but you know what I'm now. I have kids, so I have the loves of my life, so I'm fulfilled in so many other ways that romantic breakup does not affect me as it did before when I was married Randy. Do you g when you are meeting new guys, or if, when she become interested in in one of them, particularly that you want to make that next step with into an exclusive level? Is it always running through your mind the potential of him cheating on you one day? No, no, I definitely have fun. I don't like I'd never gone through someone's phone and I don't believe in that. Like, if somebody wants to be shady, let them go be shady. Right. I always joke that I should have gone through any phone, but now I'm not that girl. I'm pretty secure relationships until I see a red flag. And because of my past, those red flags would really affect me like Oh, myself, I'm battery died, you know, like just the dumb things that that trigger me from my divorce. And you know, it's not something I can control, although I've gone to I'm still going to therapy trying to suppress that, because not everyone's to say, not everyone you know is going to cheat just or is cheating when their self on battery gues. But it is something that triggers me and then brandy does. When these issues come out, when your relationships, then who kind of ends it? Is it that the guy runs away, or are you just like, you know what Red Flag, you're out, I don't want to move forward with you anymore. Like what? What's the I'm generally the runner, I mean honestly, like I don't want to get hurt, so if I see something coming out, I will get out before I get hurt. I mean there has been times when I didn't see anything in the guy sell cheated, but I don't want to put myself through that again. I don't. It was so all encompassing and so hard, like divorces, like a death, you know, like you said, the gun, I like it. It's that person, that relationship is dead, it's no longer, and so you mourn it. And you know I'm protecting myself by putting out my walls and saying piece out, fuck you because your cell phone die. You know what I mean right well, you mentioned red flags and I want to kind of touch up on that if we can't, because it's the red flags that I really think make us all unique in relationships and kind of kind of constitutes what cheating means in a relationship. Based on what I've read, flags are what I really think should be determined and every relationship, in the beginning, very beginning, is what your idea of a relationship looks like and what cheating in your mind looks like, because to me it's very hard for some people to believe that I still don't believe in cheating, and everyone says will. You keep saying you want to be in a polly relationship and you're fine with your guy being with someone else, but you don't believe in cheating. What is it? I'm like, okay, well, let's back it up. Let me teach you what a relationship means to me and what's cheating means to me. You know. So when you go through these relationships having these fears of yourself, Brandy, do you think that, for instance, someone like Magenta who is able to live like that, or someone like me who is longing to live like that? Do you see us as weird, because in your podcast you were like fuck that. I would like fuck a bitch up if I thought you know something was happening. No, I absolutely don't. I think that everyone is different and we all have like you think you don't believe in cheating. I personally believe in it, however, like I don't think monogamy is I think monogamy is really difficult to do. I don't even really know that I believe in it. I do feel like if a guy is going...

...to cheat, do it on a business trip with a hooker at that you never talk to again and I won't know about it. But if there's an emotional relationship that is formed, that's what really kills me, like if you're saying I love you to someone else and you know, continue around saying the same person. I don't personally think sex is that big of a deal. I don't know, there about emotions and I said more about like carrying that love for someone else. But I that's where my jealousy is. It's not like, you know, if it was just some Bimbo and Vegas, I don't want to know about it. So I know that people are like, Oh my God, I just don't like I there's no point. I just don't ever want him to talk to her again. Get a different BIBOA next time. Well, but I don't. I think we're all different. I don't. I don't judge anyone for what they they want to do in their life. I know Magenta, correct me if I'm wrong, but people who are in polly relationships actually thrive on monogamy and faithfulness because, from what my understanding is of a polyamorous relationship is very much exclusivity to that person that you are involved with and to the other person and it's a unity of trust and understanding that this is who I'm seeing. Is that right, Magent said? Is that how it works all the way? It really depends on the individuals involved. So there's a thing called polyfidelity, which means that, like, maybe I have a triad and the three of us are together, but we don't make sexual connections or romantic connections outside of that triad. There are, you know, people who have arrangements where there is a very limited number of people that are involved for other people, but it's not a sexually related thing. I think everyone here's the word polyamory and they are thinking everyone's just fucking everybody. You know it really are not the things that are really important for the thing that take. That delineates between say, an open relationship like a swinger dynamic, where it's kind of okay for you to go find somebody to play with, but don't see him too often and don't catch feelings. That's kind of more ethical. Non Monogamy. Everybody is aware of what's happening, but usually that comes with a very sort of pair bonded couple that are able to kind of go outside of their relationship and dabble a little, play a little, but not get too involved, which is different from polyamory. Polyamory says that there is the potential for deep romantic loving connections with those other people, not that everyone you date is going to be somebody that you end up wanting to be with for the rest of your life. Sometimes polly people do have flings right Um. But polyamory says we're not just going to have a romantic partnership in my partnership and then have friends with benefits elsewhere. There's the possibility that I'm going to be in a loving, potentially committed relationship with more than one person. But what is it off? What does it all come down to? Who designed what it looks like to be cheated on or faithful or monogamy? I'm just curious because it seems like society has sided with Brandy in this, that society is more like Anita looking for love, like Brandy, hurt from love and now looking for it again. You know, that is the norm based on society, right. So who decided what cheating is and why is it that it's so? Why am I looked at, or am my opinion? I'm looked at a little slutty when I say I want to be this way, or if I say my ex husband, because I was married for seven weeks, doesn't really count. It was seven weeks of help, but and it's like two years of divorce. So I actually told him that when I'm not around or if I'm just waits too busy, and if I'm not in the mood for a while, it's okay for you to go out there and hook up with somebody else. Don't let me see it, don't let it be one of my friends. Just kind of do what you gotta do. If it's about a sexual neat, fulfill it. I'll help you find a girl if I have to, like you know, and it's like the most girls would be like, are you fucking crazy? What if he leaves you for her? Then I said, well then he would have left me for someone else at some point. You know, if it's not her, it's going to be he wasn't fulfilled all the way, if that's what it is. So why is that looked at as crazy? Because when you're a woman, woman, honestly, no, I think that you're saying you society looks at you in a slutty way. But men do this all the time. Men often have the free women they're dating all at once...

...and it's not a man. Now that's cheating. They're in monogamous relationships, but they're not. I'm saying, no, I'm what I'm saying, is what you're saying, is that you think that people look at you as a another funny way, but if a guy was sitting here saying the same exact thing that you're saying, it would be fine. I think it's because you're a woman and you're outspoken and people don't want to hear that we have sexual needs. That were not all like wanting to get the ring in the picket fence, and we're all different and I'm not exactly what you think I am, honestly, because I have been with women and men and I I'm the way you're describing me. I would not a hundred percent agree, but I just feel like we're all so different. There's not one way that's right or wrong or you know, that is meant to be it or like. We're all so different. I don't know if you guys agree, but Oh God, yeah, and you know, one thing I want to say is it's not just women. I have actually had an x who traveled a lot for work and he found this dynamic when he opened up about being polly and when he would go on work trips, when he would talk about so I was actually very, very I'm still am, really good friends with his wife and when he would go on road trips he would occasionally talk about his wife and then he would talk about me, and when people thought that he was fucking around on his life, they were fine with it. They kind of gave him the little like Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. You know, you got a piece on the side thing. You. Yeah, and when he would like, they celebrated him for being an asshole. But at the point, he know, he was horrified by that because he's a good guy and he's like, Oh my God, no, I'm not cheating. You know, my my wife and my girlfriend are like hanging out. You know, our kids are all playing together right now. That's everyone knows nothing about. This is ethical. People would shut down on him. They would start looking at him like he was gross or creepy because in our society, because we've got this fucked up puritanical background that says it is better for you to lie to people and Cheat and be deceptive and hurt them rather than to just be upfront about your sexual and romantic desires and needs people. We would rather see you destroy lives. Right, and that's an interesting thing because it is within so many people and it's not just men. It might be might be more in men, because I feel like men are more sexual beings than we are as women. But there's a lot of women who cheat, and I would say, if anything, more than men, because I feel like women get away with it easier. But everyone has these desires of more right. I've always wanted a relationship. I always thought I would settle down with someone, have kids younger on, but the older I got them are, I realized, why is it that I just feel so restricted in these relationships that they're just like, you can't go out with these guys, or why are you friends with all of your axes? If anyone knows me, every single one of my exes, except that mother feeder I married for seven weeks, every single other one of them, I would I'm best friends with them. I hang out with all of them. In my current man needs to accept all of my exes and I'm not sexually involved with them. There's nothing going on, because I'm the type of person if I genuinely want someone, I will be with you, I will have it with you. So I don't need my man to worry about me cheating and I don't want to worry about him cheating. If he desires a woman, come tell me and I will say, Hey, you know but go, go be with her. It's fine, I'm fine with it. You know, I want to say I don't think that women are less sexual than men by any means. Like being a coach, you always get this. We are told we have to pretend to be less sexual. We are taught that we just aren't as sexual, we don't have the same kind of needs, so we just tamp it down. But as a coach, then number of times and as a polyamorous person, when I talk to people, men, often when they hear about polyamory they're like, Oh wow, that's that's that sounds really freaky to them, whereas the number of women that have come up and said, oh my gosh, I would love that. My husband would never go for it like that is what I hear more than I hear men saying. I really because we're all the same. We have you know, it totally depends on the individuals, but both monogamy is great for certain people and it is terrible for other people. And I do want to say one thing that does tend to happen is sometimes people who are toxically monogamous then shift over into polly as an excuse to be a terrible person and polly Mur what does that thing was into? It means that they are serial cheaters who have decided to put on the mountil of polyamory to justify being unethical, to justify being as if I it to...

...themselves correct and to their partner and to their partners. There are there cases like we're so you've got a monogamous couple. One of the people cheats and then said and gets caught and then says, oh wait, it's not that I cheated, it's just that I've realized I'm polly, and which puts the anogamous person in this position where they have to either become polly in order to keep their partner. They're not allow it puts him in this position where they're kind of like not allowed to be angry because it's, Oh, just my partner is polly. It's not that they cheated on me, it's that, you know, it's this thing I have to make space for. People sometimes use polyamory as an excuse to be unethical. I think that too. They also a lot of people that I know that I've been cheated on are like like, oh, it's it's not his fault, he's a sex addict, but I'm at we all sex addict. Sex added something in my pussy all over town. But love is not just the rest of you, but I feel like men especially, I fall back on that as an excuse for their cheating, in a way to get out of it, so that you can't be mad at them. And it's probably the same way that you're saying. The Oh yeah, one percent, if you's little is so Briandi. If you ever met a man and like that, that thing that everyone says, the one and your head over hands in love and this and that, but early on he tells you you know, I'm I am a little bit into polly amory and but I want you to be my main woman. I want to marry you. I want this, but I also this. I want to have this other woman as my girlfriend. You'll never see her, you'll never hear about her, no one will ever know. Would you be okay with that? I have no idea. I would have to be in that situation to answer. You know what I mean. I would have to know how much I love this person and I don't want to get married again. I don't think. I think marriage is an old fashioned idea. However, I don't want to grow old alone. I mean I would like to possibly actually really like my own space. So maybe they need their own house, but but you know, just to have your person, like on Sundays you go for our hike, you don't like you have to call your friends and be like what's going on? So you have that person, you know. So it's possible that, you know, as I get older, that and I meet somebody and he's into that. I don't know right now. I just know that as a Scorpio, I'm very, very jealous when it comes to my men. Not with my friends, but it when it comes to my men. I just I just know me. So, I mean I don't know it would happen. Mean I'd have to have a lot of growth and don't figure out how I love this guy. And why are you alos? Why are you not confident? I don't know. That's that's my mom and dad. They made me. I'm just always been. I have just like I'm jealous. I can't explain it. I mean we polly isn't for everybody, you know, there's for people. I know people fellas. Do you know polly? People get jealous, they get upset, they get insecure, they have all the normal human feelings. So that's not getting jealous, as does not preclude polyamory, but some people just aren't wired for it. You know, our sense of comfort and joy and place in the world really makes us want to be pair bonded. It feels there's there's a deep comfort to having a partner where it's like you know where they're going to be, you know your you you come home in the evening and you watch a show to get you know that you are on the same track all the time and that can be wonderful. If that's how to wired, you know it's I think there's nothing wrong with wanting that dynamic. Yeah, I have I do have a question for you, Magenta. Do you with your with your acts? They have the two kids with do you think that if you had initially talk to him about potentially doing that type of relationship with them, do you think it could have saved your marriage without even was it even an option, or was it just you guys were done and you just needed to move on and go your separate ways? The being polly thing we had. So I was polly before I met my husband and we ended up being functionally monogamous for about a decade, okay, but polyamory was always on the table we transition. So sorry. What is functionally monogamous mean for us who don't understand these words? It means that polyamory was on the table. It was something that, like, he knew I was polly, but when we got together it was actually kind of the right place for us to be, to be monogamous. So by functionally monogamous, I mean we were sexually and romantically exclusive for about ten years. We were traveling a lot, a lot of stuff was going on and but we always knew that eventually, if we wanted to, we would open the relationship up. So after about ten years, so this was about ten years ago, we opened up the relationship. So in fact,...

...my partner, Jason, and my ex's partner, we were all planning on moving into a house together. So the the being polly was a really, really wonderful positive aspect of our marriage and in fact, I think saved our marriage when we opened up. I think got absolutely saved our marriage. But then other things unfortunately kind of brought us apart. that it wasn't polly. We're taking a quick break and when we returned. I'm fluid bonded with my partners, meaning we don't use protection. Can I ask for why? Why you don't use it just for this sensation? I mean, obviously girls better without a Condo, and we all know that, but I mean, is it's specifically for that? Maybe what goes through your mind right now? I see you right now working a little bit. What is going through your mind when you're hearing this whole cohabitating and one house? You know, boyfriend has nod. I think it would be awesome, especially have you, if you have kids, because I wouldn't have to wake up every night to to get the bottle. I could pass the work off to some people like you guys could be made a lunch of my kids right now. I think amazing. I honestly I'm a one woman. Show up my house and it gets real fucking old, I'll tell you that. So to have like people that and I love being around people like I love being our by saved my best friends, my soulmate, her name's Trina, like, we have the best time together and I you know, but you know as well, I do like my long time, like we all need. But I think it sounds awesome. Honestly, is as long as everyone's good with it. I'm not this proud, guys, I swear no, I know you know what. I'll side this. I recently saw a photo lean rhymes posted of your ex husband, which is her recurrent husband. I don't know what I'm supposed to call him. I don't even know what I'm supposed to refer to him, as his name is Eddie. Okay, Addie, it's Leanna and Eddie, your kids and you. You're in that photo for Easter, which I mean. I was like, what the fuck, you know, is this photoshop? Just are you? No? I know. When I saw that, I was like, this is amazing, because it's the kids. Are just the ones who were loving it the most. Right. Oh Yeah, how how did you get there? Because I know you you're really hurt, but how did you get there? It took a long time of her and I fighting and then we just I mean, at some point it's like I'm I'm over. I don't have those feelings for Eddie anymore. I love him as the father of my children and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him because of my boys, but I look at him like a brother now. So I was over there yesterday. I was over there for Easter. We spent mothers say together last year. We were there at the four Easter. People don't realize, like we're cool, like it's all good. I don't have I just got over it. I don't know. I think I got through it, not over it. I don't think you ever really get over something. It's part of your story for the rest of your life and it shaped who you are or but I'm in such a good, better place now with those people. Those people did Brandy did? Did the she ever like apologize or anything like the sheep pull you aside and say anything to you to kind of make things better, or did you just guess? Listen, it's not it's not her fault that he cheated. I mean, yeah, it takes two, but it takes too yeah, Tim, I mean he had a family, he had kids that he, you know, left and cheered on. So, you know, we went to we went to therapy together, the three of us in the beginning, because I thought that the kids were putting put in the middle. So I like talk, my tail beat in my legs and I was like, all right, let's go sit in therapy. It was not fun, but I did it for my kids because ultimately, the kids are the most important thing to me and I just wanted them to be not triangulated in the situation. And so we've done a lot of talking. You know, we've done a lot of talking over the years and we finally, I think we both just grown up a lot her and I and Eddie, like I still bigger with Eddie. But would you ever, would you ever bring an if you have a new man in your life, as a real, you know man in your study man, would you bring him to introduce him to Eddie, like for Ye, Nice, all my boyfriends. which would you do it for? Like an advice? Like you, what do you think that this Guy Eddie? You think he's a good guy. Would you ever ask him his opinion now? But I will say all of the boyfriends that they've met, they brow down on there like buddies. I'm like, this is not supposed to happen, but you know, guys, they are just like in a different world. They had this bro Code and they're always going to be cool with each other or they're not. Like girls. I think we're much more complex where we're so loyal that I'm not going to go and befriend this other person. That's how I am right, but I'm Magenta. If you happen to meet someone who's a of interest...

...to you and you're in life, how does that process work? Do you tell your significant other, I've met someone new? How does how do you introduce that? So I tend to. You know, I I'm very open about everything in my life. I do so. There's a version of polyamory called kitchen table polly, which means you everybody's so comfortable that you could actually all gather around a kitchen table and have a cup of coffee together. I prefer that. So if I meet somebody and I really connect with them, I'm going to want to introduce them to the other meaningful people in my life. And you know, this is never happened, but you know, one of my partner said, Hey, I'm seeing some red flags. I would definitely pay attention to that. There have been some experiences where I've dated people that my other partners couldn't really grock like, they couldn't really connect with. And that happens. I've had a metamor, sorry, a little lingo. Your metamor is your partner's other partner. So if if my boyfriend has another partner, that person is my metamor. I've had a few metamors that I didn't want to sit around a kitchen table with, and in those cases it's like, I respect my partner's opinions. I assume that they're getting something out of that relationship that maybe I can't fully see me and so I support it, but maybe I support it from a distance, but my preference is actually that my partners think really highly of each other. Welcome. How long do you wait for that, though, Magenta, because I'm trying to understand the world of probably amory myself, you know, and I want to. I want to really learn how to navigate it properly, because if I have someone in my life and now I need someone of interest and I'm starting to get to know them, it takes a while before you say now I'm ready to introduce them. So in that meantime that you're getting to know this person, dating them, hanging out, sleeping together and not sleeping together, whatever are you is that considered cheating if you're not telling that a person that you're doing this with a new person? It entirely depends on the arrangement I've made with my partner so far. Example, I'm confused about polly because I thought there were definitive rules to it, not that we just make our own rules. There are things that are better ideas and worse ideas. Like there are things that if you said like I want to do this, this and that, I would say, okay, there's a lot of danger in that method. Whatever you know, I might give you warnings about like that's not here. All the ways that can go really badly. So there are ways not to do things, but really what you want to build is really up to the people that are involved. So, for example, I have one partner where when we're hanging out I'm if something has gotten to be a big part of my life, I'm seeing somebody a lot, it's going to come into the conversation, but I don't think we have. I wouldn't necessarily feel like, you know, if you was dating somebody, would expect him to like let me know you know at some point. I wouldn't you. Wouldn't it be like if you had to put sorry, go ahead and like if you said, okay, we're exclusive, then of course it's cheating. But if you're just dating and sleeping with two different people and I don't think it's cheating, well, he's just having I agree with you, Brandy, like as soon as soon as sex gets brought into it. Here's with and some people they want to do a thing called parallel polly. Parallel polly means I'm being this person and whoever else I'm dating. The two will never meet, they don't have anything to do with each other. They kind of want to. Don't ask, don't tell dynamic where it's like you can have other partners. Don't let me see him, don't let me know about it. We're going to pretend kind of that were monogamous and what you do outside of our dynamic needs to stay the hell away. For me, that is totally a version of polly. I think it usually goes badly. My sounds perfect to me. One of the things I know when it comes to sex, though, the right to informed consent. If you if your partner is having sex with somebody else, there is added risk, or if you're having sex with somebody else there isn't added risk to your you know, sexually transmitted disease risk. So one of the things for me is if I'm actually sleeping with somebody, then if they sleep with somebody else, they need to tell me that that's happened before they sleep with me again, because then I get to decide. Is that in my comfort zone? So, like I had a person that I was starting to date who was really fond of having threesomes with total strangers,...

...and I'm not saying anything bad about that, no slut shaming at all. That is a little outside of my comfort zone. So when he said Hey, I just you know, we were just starting to talk about maybe sleeping together and he said, Oh, I just had this awesome threesome with this person that I met last night, and I thought, well, that is outside of my comfort zone, right. So I think I'm not going to want to sleep with this person because to me, testing is super important. So it's not a judgment call against him, it's not me saying he's a bad person by any means, but it's like, okay, that's not in my comfort zone. If you had done that and then had sex with me and then told me, I would have been fucking livid, right, because that would like for health safety. Or is it just because, because any random as you don't want, I mean a piece going out with strangers. That's scary because you know, we who knows? Like yeah, but is it just because of health? If you you're just personally not okay with it. For me it's where my where my line is for sexual safety, for health safety. Everybody's got a different line. That's totally legitimate. I tend to be. I'm fluid, bonded with my partners, meaning we don't use protection. So that being the case, we are all kind of dedicated to be very, being very careful before we add any new potential. Can I ask why, why you don't use it just for this sensation? I mean, obviously feels better without a condom. We all know that. But I mean is it's specifically for that? Yeah, and it because there's enough trust and we're being we've decided that our sexual safety practices are safe enough that we're not running risks. Like for a while I was in a pod of actually, when my ex and I were still together, there were six of us and we weren't all having sex with each of us with all of the people. But how is that different than an orgy? Not the same time I was yeah, time or time. Yeah, you know, some of the people only had sex with one person. It was basically a closed group. We some point we're all using condoms and we talked about it. We realized, Oh, all of us have had tests and we're not having sex with anybody outside of this pod. So it's just the six of us. Now. If somebody had decided that they wanted to date somebody else, there would have had to have been more conversations because it's like, oh, now there are potentially more risk factors that we're going to have to negotiate. How often did you guys get tested? Like was just every like, what's not weird question? Okay, I no, no, it's not legimate. Like yeah, and then your guys aregree in the blood test for STD and I guess day of the age person's a day of the week. Or does everyone get designated at time? And Yeah, to to get a test or to be together get to get tested. As you guys know that you guys are all clean and there isn't someone that is right going out of a group of six. So in that group we got you know, there was a long there was years together. So we had a really deep level of trust within that group. So for us, we all been tested. We were very confident in each other's honesty, which I know is you know, it's great you got you know. And so after we'd all gotten tested, we still we just kind of generally get tested every six months to a year, depending on what's going on. And you must that nobody else is sleeping than anyone else correct. You have to have a lot of trust. SNAP. Yeah, a lot of trust there. In general, that is not something that gets built very quickly. That, for me, is something that takes years to get to that version of safety right. And then I still I would still get my year late test. I always, you know, I get tested every year no matter what because, yeah, you know, you want to be careful. Yeah, when I've been with groups where there's more dating going on, where there's more sleeping with random for you know, not random people, but when there's when the when the lip, when the bubble is not closed, I get tested every three months. Wow, so that's three vaginas and three penises. Correct or are we have are are thin bisexuality a part of big part of polyamory or no, really depends. I love like I love dating by people, but yeah, I'm I'm bisexual, pansexual. What of those pans? Sexual can is? So bisexual kind of. I'm a little old school. So bisexual still resonates with me a lot. But Hanna is sort of the the term that's being used to indicate that somebody's it doesn't...

...matter if they're sisgendered or not. It's kind of saying, like Pan says, I'm also interested in non binary people, right, and and Brandy's just by I mean, yeah, I just you buy. But no, I feel I'm right. I think I'm a fluid. It's whoever. Yeah, no, I mean I definitely been with yeah, I've been a relationships with them in but I do just think that pants actual is the new word for bisexual. So, I mean, it is what it is. But yeah, it's just admitting that we're not in a the the there's no binary. There's no false binary. That said, you know. So if you're dating somebody WHO's trams, they count in that, you know, or who's non binary these they also catching that they're not being excluded by the terminology. I still say by because it's just what we did, because we're old. That's why I would say, yeah, that's pretty it's it's what it is. Can we do can we take it back a couple steps to when you're saying if you were dating someone and you're in a like relationship, then if you went and you talk to someone else, you're I just wanted to kind of go back to that because maybe I'm old school brandy. I've been cheated on. It was like pretty, pretty shitty times that I went through with mom. It was engaged to the guy. You know, whole another story. But so I'm pretty I've trust issues as well, and what I like to know is, or to say, is that I feel that you are cheating because you're emotionally going behind that guy's back and you're talking to someone else you're interested in. See there's knowing. There's no behind the back because we know beginnings. You're talking. But she was asking if she is that cheating, if her current guy you know that. I think when my gentis saying and I'm in a relationship with a man, I've already informed him that I'm polly and that I'm the potential is there, because these are my rules, these are my guide, if forgiving, and I'm if I do meet someone, I'm going to pursue them. Once it gets to a further point, I'm going to then introduce you. Is that right? I make my rules right. That is a fital. I will not. I will not even go on a date. I mean I you know, I sometimes choose okay cupid to meet people. At the very beginning of my profile it says I don't remember, I forget what I wrote. It was something like you know, I'm happy, partnered, polyamorous person. You know, I have amazing people in my life that I love very much, and so any but in you know, the first thing I talked to people. If I'm even remotely considering going out with somebody, they know I'm polly immediately, because they have a right to it. They're going to assume that I'm anogamous. They're going to assume if I go meet somebody and I give them my phone number, they have every right to assume that I'm monogamous and single, right and I don't want to mess with anybody's head. So I'm going to make sure that they know that I'm polly, and my partners they know. Like during the pandemic, through the pandemic, my partners and I have not been dating elsewhere at all. It's been pretty locked down because, you know, pandemic. Yeah, so I you know, my partner, one of my partners, and I both started thinking about getting back on okay cupid and we talked about you know, I think we both got onto okay cupid on our own, but we're going to let each other know and if I start going out with somebody, I'm going to tell him because because I love them, my love my partners, they're part of my life. I want them to know what's going on in my life and I would never want them to be surprised. Yeah, because also, I want to say I don't care how polly you are, when your partner starts dating a new person, there's often emotions, things come up, jealousy and security. So I would want to always make sure that my partner has lots of room and space. Nothing ever gets Oh, by the way, I slept with somebody that you've never even heard of last week. Or, by the way, surprise, I'm madly in love with somebody like that would never happen. Okay, my chance said, how can someone cheat on you? How can one are your partner's cheats on you? How will you experience cheat in your life right now? Dishonesty? How what does that look? Okay, so if my partner son out, you know, I've been doing polly for quite a while so and I feel very, very safe for the partners I'm with. So I don't have like a lot of worries around this. But if I found out they were dating somebody or sleeping with somebody and they hadn't told me, it, would it would be horrible. It would be a massive breach of trust. That is absolutely cheating and I would feel, I don't know, it's a big tray o right, I don't think it might. Partner, if I found out, oh,...

...by the way, you know, I found out Soandso is dating, you know, this other person whatever, if they didn't mention it to me, if they kept that for me, that's not going to work for me. Does Not night stand? Does it one night stand? Get applied here? I mean if you're dating, you just said to me you wait till a certain point. Perhaps, Oh, maybe those aren't your rules. So put yeah, I know. Yeah, so in your rules you need to know up front if you're win are your partners has met someone. For my personal thing, if they it would be weird for my partners not to like let me know if they met somebody meaningful, if they're just going out on dates with people, you know, because, like when I'm dating on Okqu but I'm super picky about people a date with. I go out through, I go out with a shit ton of people in order to meet the one or two people that I really connect with. So I go out on a lot of dates. I'm not necessarily going to tell my partner. By the way, I have two dates today. I'm having dinner with this person, having breakfast with that person, because if that isn't because that first date, I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. You know. But at the point. But what about a onenight stand? I don't Wanka said drunken. I A drunken night out, just one night stand? Do I do I have to tell you, or is if I don't tell you, is that cheating? Or is it pointless to tell you because it's not a Roman anti anything. No, they have for me other because of the sexual aspectually transmitted, because they're people. Be think other. But what if we were using condoms and it did? That wasn't the issue. So and don't tell anyone. So for me I'm going to want to know. That's a thing that we talked about. There are people that are like one night stands are different. They like the don't ask, don't tell dynamic. I hate it. It makes me feel super neurotic. You're fair enough. There are totally people who do that. The one issue sometimes with the not wanting to know is that people do catch feelings. I'm just so, I just I just can't even fat. Yeah, I don't want to know. I just don't care enough because it could. I feel like you haven't. Maybe any person you will. I agree. She meets us. She has. Are you here? Thank you and thank you. I'm trying to see. Do you see the reaction of the norm brainwash people of society? Who told you it's a house to be a wedding? Who told you that? Who told you that? Who told you Mus was to find this? We would say that you wander, I needed to get your wedding. I am no idea. I don't meant I'm not saying that. I'm just okay, but we're constantly growing in evolving and what I felt ten years ago is not what I feel today, and what I feel right now, but what you feel right now may not be what you feel in five years if you meet somebody that changes your mind. I mean it happens a lot, and not saying you need to get carried it. She may meet somebody that she falls really in love with and still feel like having. You know, casual sex is not that mean people do that. There are so many people you would be really surprised by that. Are swingers that do ethical non monogamy, that have friends with benefits, have threesomes whatever, have orgies. Tons of people do that, Um that you would not know about and they just trying to emotional aspect a little bit. You know it, keep the emotional aspect under wraps. Anyway. Did you just say what? Did it what I think? No, I know this wingers, I know all of them, trust me, it's it's like it's everywhere. It's yeah, I'M A lot. I just feel I do hear people out because I do believe in the power of adaptation, which is primarily why I don't believe in the long term commitment aspect, because we readapt ourselves so fast and so significantly as a human species. So that dynamic of changing emotionally physically, sexually, all that stuff. It's inevitable to not change by every five to ten years, right, but the one consistent thing with me has been I've just always been on this steady path of where men were not that thing for me, and I don't mean that as far as turning me on or anything. I'm sure I've never had an experience with a woman and I'm not. It's not for me. I'm not interest. Said I love women, they're gorgeous, just not for me. But a man has never set me butterflies all through my stomach her or made me feel like, Oh my God, I hope he likes me, or I hope he's not cheating. Oh my God, who is he texting? Oh my God, is he going to propose? Oh my God, did he just look at that girl? I'll fuck her. I have never, ever in any relationship, been that girl. I just haven't. It was just like this. And I'm a very insecure person and a lot of things. So...

...don't make you think that I'm so confident in myself. I'm not. I have a lot of insecurities, but one thing I am confident about is if they're gonna want me, there's nothing I can do about that. They're gonna fucking want me. Ma Gent are you gone? Okay, so first child needed me, really, okay, okay, come on, budgeance. Is that fuck this interview? She needed me, so I had to run away. Yes, you are, but that's what I'm saying. So I just feel like it's something you have in you. Maybe you're raised in a household that kind of lets you grow up with that mentality. that it was just if someone's going to want me, they're gonna want me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I want a hundred percent agree, you know, being being polly monogamous. People Cheat on each other all the Goddamn time. Right, relationships fall apart, right all the time. Sometimes it's monogamy that ruins a relationship. Like I have an example, two examples. One of them is I had a friend who is very, very kinky and very, very sexual and they married somebody who wasn't. But, and in this case it was a the guy was the one who is more kinky. Usually the other way around, but in this case it was the guy that was more Kinky, was very sexual, and his wife just zero sex drive over the years. Didn't wasn't interested and he realized at some point that this huge part of himself was kind of dying and he felt really sad and he felt lonely. He was somebody who got a lot of is love. Language was partially sexual connection, intimacy, and they were best friends. They were married for twenty fucking years. It was this beautiful relationship but because they were so different sexually, they divorced. They ended an amazing marriage because there was this one incompatibility and I just remember thinking, damn it, if you had the idea of outsourcing, you know, if you could see the idea that maybe you can get different needs met by different people and still treasure and love this relationship, the relationship, but still exist. Same thing for a friend where she realized she was a lesbian many years into a marriage and that could have that standardly in a monogamous dynamic would have ended the marriage. Instead, there they realize that their marriage was about more than sex, and the sex thing they had never been all that great between them, so they decided to stay together and continue this amazing, Wonderful Ridge marriage, the in a way that still allowed them to pursue close, intimate sexual romantic connection right, and not that that didn't take work, a lot of work. But, Randy, if I don't want to, I don't want to. I don't want to use Eddie as an example. So I'm just going to say if you meet a new guy that you are falling in love with in you're married to and, let's say, twenty years down the line, there is that sexual situation going on, knowing what Magent'sa just said, or like some of those options that are out there. Let's say you lost your sex drive. It's you that, but you guys are best friend going to have then? But okay, you would. Let's say you do. I won't know. Okay, but don't Jinks it. Don't Jinks it. Oh girl, I wish I could lose a little bit of it. Oh my God, can you give me some? Yeah, like we am take it, Brandy. It's been three years for me. Give me some, three years, three years, and I feel like it's a curse sometimes. Hello, give it some, me like it. What's that box gets opened? It's a problem. Like I just said. That leaving a shot for right now at the COVID thing. It's close for the moment and I'm just like, please, don't open it because once that box is open. Yeah, all right, you know, those are sex drive in twenty years now, what do you do with your best friend that you're with? What happens? Well, a lot of guys penis has stopped working when they get all BIAGA. I want to change the subject, but we're talking Andy. No, I'm just saying a lot of guys dicks don't work anymore. So it might. I think it happens to couples and I think you know, my parents have been married for God how long, sixty, fifty years I think, and I'm pretty sure they don't have sex anymore, but they're best friends and I don't even like to think. Well, I fire some very sex to gross but I mean I feel like at a point in all long term relationships you become best friends more than romantic partners, because that romance is exciting and great in the beginning, but you know, it comes then there's bills and there's kids and it doesn't always that those feelings are always last. So that would be a discussion that I would definitely have with my person at that time, if that ever happens,...

...and be like you know what, like I want to be with you. I want to live with you. I mean I think that this sounds amazing. The what is it called Paully, and I just think if I could do it, I probably would do it. I know my jealousy with wanting that one person all to myself. If I could change that about man, who knows, maybe I will change. You know, with time we all evolved. I don't think there's anything wrong with it and I think having the conversation, still talking about it, getting out there, will get it to be more accepted, so not everyone's like hey, oh my God. So I think that you're doing a great thing and I think that, you know, who knows what the future holds for me? I think that's really wise. You know, and I will you know. Yeah, I'm a polly advocate, but I will never try to convince somebody to be polly if it doesn't feel like there's something in it for them. You know, I often end up with folks where want to, you know, committed monogamous relationship. One of the people suddenly decides I need to be polly and the other person has to go along for the ride and has to decide if that looks like something that's healthy for them. And one of the things I tell them to do is to imagine. I say, you know, picture yourself in ten years, all the emotional stuff, all the work has been done, you're in a place where you feel settled and safe. If you picture this polyamorous dynamic, whatever it is that you know they're aiming towards, can you imagine being happy in that dynamic, even if it feels really unlikely? Can you see anything in that that could look good for you? Not just something you can survive, yea something you can thrive it? And if the answer is no, if you look at it and say I'm always going to feel slightly nauseous, well, you know, finally nause maybe it's worth it because I know you're going to be unhappy. Don't have a do it question. And Yeah, I actually really appreciate your perspective on this and I appreciate Brandie's perspective on it, and that's sort of what I like to do on genuinely gg's I like to bring on these, you know, two different perspectives so we can sort of shake the table, get a talking and, you know, get it going. So I really like the conversation I we had I really appreciated the way it went. I can understand that there's so many people out there. Majority of the people are out there like brandy, and I really appreciate people out there like Magenta, because right now I'm going to get off this, you know, podcast and I'm going to be on the phone with Magensa, trying to learn a lot as I can so I can navigate my desires right now with polyamory. But I really appreciate both the guys being here. If any of you guys are interested in knowing more about, you know, polyamory, you guys can go to polycoach dot org and you guys can find Magenta. Her stuff is there and we all know them as Brandy Glanville, and she has her amazing of you, Brandy, unfiltered. You guys can listen to her unfiltered us. She's been doing this for years. I bow down to brandy. Thank you for being my guest. I'm learning from you and we hope to see you on the talk. We hope to rate. But before we go, Anita has a something for us. Okay, the fun for so this is a little gay. We called forgive me, I have sinned, and so I'm just going to ask you guys questions, one question for both of you guys, and just, you know, feel comfortable answering it. Okay. So have either of you of Oh God, I came and talk right now. You've like passed on that thing to me. You're what. I can't talk now. Okay. have either of your kids walked in on you during sex? Nope, no, Oh, I was a note for Brandy and Magenta is laughing hysterically. I had I have a really quick story for you on that one. That wasn't my child. Yeah, make it Ju see worse. But my partner, I my x, and I were dating a couple and like I would go to their house and they're the other partner would come to my house and we kind of Swat back and forth because we both had kids. So I'm over at my lover's house and we're having a lovely time and his children are supposed to be asleep. Yeah, and we hear some knocking. Things are a little little exciting in the room. We're trying to keep it I thought we were being very quiet. We heard a little bit of knocking and my partner goes out and he comes back and he's just he's like laughing, so already's crying. Apparently his kid would occasionally hear him having sex with his wife and would say, like, Daddy, I heard Mommy breathing. Oh, and so this time he said I heard he goes up just daddy, he's like that's we are done. It sounds like I hear Magenta breathing. Oh, and that's...

...a good question. Okay, so, Mugenta, how I have to go to make lunch, but I'm your kids know that you you have. That was my bash got to ask to I I'm sorry, go ahead. No, that was a question liked my kids. Yes, your kids know. And how did you? Because you are you going to let Elijah know when you're having multiple partners? That's a good question. Me, my going to let a lot, as you know. I mean I just said if this is something that ends up being for me, and I will navigate how I you know. But either way, whether I go towards polly or if I don't go towards polly, I will still be very, very, very cautious with any man who walks through my door, because I really don't that too many. Yeah, have regardless of a Jenta how did you handle that? What? So my kids were my kids have never known anything but polyamory and we never dated a lot like we did. We were not a revolving door. We you know, I tend to date long term partners that I plan with, plan on being with for the long run. So there have been a few times where it's been like, you know, if I trust a personal I've been dating them for a long time and my kids are really comfortable with them, and I'm a pretty social person, so they tend to meet a lot of my friends anyway. If they're really comfortable and I feel very safe, then yeah, the kids know that. You know, sometimes mommy has a sleepover or they understand polyamory. They're old enough to. We've had a lot of conversations about it. Now it's they're ten and twelve, so they're like fully cognizant of what's going on around them. We've had a lot of talks about the philosophy and stuff and they know our partners. There's not like new people coming in and out. The kids never wake up to a stranger in the house. You know, I think that would be really creepy. You know, I think honesty is like probably the best Bot. I mean, my kids know that I'm bisexual, whatever you want to say. We talked about sex. I think they wished that I we wouldn't, but I'm like okay, so what are we talking about? Guys, they're like no, no, make it stop, but you know they're they're at that age where they're, you know, they're getting it on. Well, yeah, well, okay, back to the game question, right. I'M GON ships. Wait, hold all, hold on, wait, didn't already have lunch before? I've made them. Wait, oh, that was breakfast. Okay, what's your crazy sexual encounter or story you've ever had? Which one of US both? Come on, come on, I graduated sexual I've been sued again, like I already been sued once. I know I've. I've definitely had a lot of fun. Brandy UNFILTERS, her bandy UNFIL I am not. I am not getting sued. Sorry, I don't know what happens in sort of penalty Magenta. Do you have a crazy actually the story something hum I guess. So I do occasionally go to kink events. So I think one of the weirdest events that I went to a really wonderful kink convention in Cali here in Beforenia, I was one of the guest speakers and it was really fun because I was going back and forth between experimenting with this version of Kink I was not used to sort of in a public environment, so I was really intimidated by that, but I was also being a speaker at the event. So there was like this weird dynamic of when I was at the parties, I'd be like dressed up, wearing that a whole lot and feeling very, very sexy, and then people would come up to like ask advice and I would go into polly coach mode. What well, like also dressed super, super tardy in the middle of a dungeon and I go into like teacher mode and then go back to being a little freak. It was pretty fun. Now it's caaky, freaky, little freaking eat deep D I mean I've seen a lot worse than Thailand just on the sidewalk. So about stopped on this one. But thank you so much. Thank you for being here, brandy and the Gent I really appreciate both of you guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys, so nice to talk to you, I think. Yeah, by for well, that was interesting, right I mean the very opposite people. Brandy and LEGENTA, very opposite right in a way, because I feel like they're both like into women to so they're bisexual as sexual. Is that all they had in common? There by sexual that? I guess that's about it. Yeah, because they are pretty. They were very, very adamant about their sides of what a relationship or cheating, you know, monogamy, what that all kind of looks like in a...

...relationship. And I don't know, brandy comes from a very hurt place where you can hear that. She's very you can hear the hurt. How many, over years later, even though she says she's over it, I still feel like it has to have put some sort of a damper somewhere. Yeah, and who you are as a person and your trust and faith in people, you know, women and men. And here's Magenta. I was just like, Hey, let's be free, just be open, as long as you get an STD test and you, you know, tell me that it's just a six. I'm cool with that. Six, I I don't know. Did you hear the number six? I said six. She said six. Yeah, I can't even get one. So I can try out having to she's got six already. Well, maybe she could hook you up with someone. Well, are you join them and be number seven? What does that to be like? Even so, let's be eight people. I'm not into the no sexual kind of can't like protection. I I'm not. I think that if I'm sharing some Dick, I would rather that he be protecting the Dick. You know what I mean? Does that make sense a little bit? Well, yeah, but technically he kind of is, because it's only within you guys. Well, let's just said. No, wait, want a time out. Time out. Yeah, you wanted to protect his Dick, right then. No, I don't want to protect you, dude. I want to protect the Dick that goes in my vagina. But you told your ex, for example, to go have said took off sex, but PS use a condom. How do you know he's gonna have a condown? Well, that's so high. No Guy wants to use a condom. Come on now, he's a fat girl's not going to let him use a fronem. He's not going to use it and he's not going to come to you and tell you that he was safe. I'm telling us more about the men in your life and Ana I don't know. You go so you don't on a condoms in your sat night interactions. You know what rock now a no, no, he's my niece. Guys, Oh boy, boy, called me a Dick. Your knees. You're fine, you're old. She's she's like from the movies. Is If there is Atha, she learned it from that. It was as a whole other thing. He's a Dick. That took me down to my last night. Did story my five year old niece, but you, thank you for changing the subjects. Okay, up your niece when we're talking about you liking to write. Okay, because that's the real conversation here. I think you're right. It's very it's to be very safe and stuff, and it's scary to do that, which then maybe you should not be. And Apollo, I can't say that word. Holly Amorous. I am play am Orus because maybe you maybe I can't. I don't know. No, I just no. No. I think not wanting an STD has absolutely nothing to do with only wanting one or ten men. It makes no difference. I don't want an STD. I don't want that. I don't want the gonery or the clamdia or the crabs or infections or HPV. Men Don't know they're carrying HPV, so I can say how, go get tested. But men don't show that they have HPV, but women do. You know what I'm saying. So there's just so many reasons why I would tell him to strap it. Okay, you know, but I mean he can just drop it up with as many people as he wants to, as long as he stops it up and as long as he's honest and and gets me diamonds as well, because that's part of the arrangement. That's she said. I can make my own rules. If I can make my own rules, I I would let you have as much vagina as you want if you give me the larger diamond. So let's say he's like, I'll give you a fifty carrot diamond, but I want to have sex without condoms. I would, I would, I mean a fifty carrot diamond. Yeah, Oh man, I would take the CLAMITDIA and the gonnery if you would right. Yeah, I'd bite the talking and best quality, like what is the best color? Like, yeah, I say hi, I will don't know. I'd have called my friend Ras of Farahon. He knows those. I'm all, yeah, I don't know anything about it, but do you say fifty carrots? So you say her? Oh Yeah, AH, for sure. I won't get the shot, like Honoria shot or whatever it's called, or the stare at whatever the stuff they put in you. I don't know. I do it, I do it okay, but you know, I don't think brandy would brandy. Probably Brandy definitely won't. We made that clear. We made a clear brandy is not into it. She is looking for someone, but not for anything that she can share. Yeah, you know, so I'm going to definitely give him a gentle cough after this. I feel like I have a lot more to learn from her. I think you do too. Yeah, I think I do too. I think I need a open up to this and understand a little bit more and I have a lot of questions for her. But I think for you hundred percent, and I think you should have her set you up with someone. I still do that. Well, I don't know. I she's in the bay area. I feel like Bay area guys are a little like or you know, they're not really my cup of tea, to be quite honest with you. But anyways, with that being said, thanks, guys. I am really appreciative of you guys listening to this podcast. It was a little different. I mean, I don't feel like there's a lot of conversations out there about polly, so I if you enjoyed it, like give me a rating,...

...a good review. If you want to hear me talk about something else, please write about what you want me to talk about. I've been getting some good comments and good feedback from a lot of you, so I'm really grateful. If you haven't subscribed to my podcast show yet to subscribe. Push that button please. It shows US love. Thanks for listening to genuinely gig download new episodes every week and if you haven't already subscribe, be sure to leave us a rating and review and, while you're at it, check out some of the other great show is available on Straw hut media.

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