Genuinely GG
Genuinely GG

Episode · 1 year ago

Lance Allred & Dr. Michelle Hu

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

GG and Anita have two guests this week: The first-ever legally deaf NBA player Lance Allred. Michelle Hu: A Deaf Audiologist with a Passion for Cooking.

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Straw media. Hey, y'all, welcome to another episode of genuinely GG. As you know, I am with my cookie crazy friend, Anita, who is unfortunately suffering from a little migraine. So I puffed a lot a weed in her face and she's very happy right now. So don't mind her. She's going to be fine. Don't worry. I'm going to get right into it because I'm really excited about today's episode because it's something very personal for me. It is about hearing loss and the different types of hearing loss and the survival mechanisms that people like myself have to gain because of our hearing loss. We had lance all read, which is the NBA's first legally deaf player ever in history, and we're going to talk about, you know, how he grew up with hearing, his his hearing laws and being in the NBA with his hearing laws and afterwards, as well as pediatric audiologist, Dr Michelle, who which is also a cocklear implant recipient. She has it. She grew up also Dev and now she is an audiologist. We have such different stories between us, such different things to share, and I'm really excited to get into it. Yeah, we do let's do it. You know her from shawls of sunset. You know she doesn't hold back. You being a gay son to a carnal like that. That's that's a lot of people are like, wow, what's that got to be like? Did you have to hide it? was He open with it? Did they give them shit? Can Shit? It wouldn't in you know inside. This is genuinely gg. I like to talk about conversations that a lot of people don't discuss particularly, and a lot of them have to do with maybe my lifestyle or things that I've gone through and experienced, and today that conversation is about I was born within abnormal hearing loss and I have about twenty eight percent hearing and I read something about you being the first NBA player in history to be considered legally deaf. I mean huge, huge, huge deal, you know, for someone like me and I'm sure the community, but in general, that's a huge deal. So I want to really go into you know, how you got to that point, living through that point and all that. So let's start from the beginning. Where are you from? Tell me what it was like growing up. Well, you're asked, so I'll share. I was born and raise in a polygamous could in Montana and I was born in my grandmother's house and at that time in one thousand nine hundred and eighty one rule Montana, and the back was we're waiting for Jesus to come again. We're not really paying attention to medically issues such as R H in compatibility, if you're familiar with that. My mother was a negative blood type and I'm a positive blood type, and so her body was recognizing me as a parasite and was killing me off. Okay, and so when I was born I was nearly dead and I had to be rushed out of the commune to tiny Hamilton Montana, where there was a Johns Hopkins educated resident which just happened to be specializing in our age himself because he was an RS baby too, and so I was an incubator for three weeks. My liver, tighter billy rib and tighter count was off the charge. I should have been dead. So I'm very lucky to be alive and the doctor did warn my parents that some of the side effects can be like span Albifia, other things, but also hearing loss because the nerves are my ears are never fully developed due to the RH factor or the blood changes. Were not quite sure which one it was exactly. And so born and raised rule Montana with about eighty percent hearing loss. So twenty was one of gradual was it a gradual loss or was it when it happened? It happened. Yeah, happened. I've always been this way, I've always had this and so I've always lived in a very quiet world, okay, and there were no amenities to learn sign language and rule Montana and being the only death kid within a hundred miles, and so I had to learn to be put out of my comfort zone every day, to wear my hearing gates, go to speech therapy three times a week until I was sixteen years old, to speak this way. And so you might understand this expression gg living with an invisible bill of disabilities sometimes is a double edged sword. Oh honey, I have two invisible disabilities, unfortunately. So I understand that. Saying more than you can understand, but yeah, I do, I get it. It's hard. It's hard when people don't understand our world because our world frustrates them. It does. We make people uncomfortable without even trying right and so we begin isolating ourselves to not hurt other people. Yeah, that's where at liars do. First we think there's something wrong with us and then...

...we try very hard to be normal, right, and the more and more we tried to be normal, the more and more we keep doing exceptional things. And so you keep hopping over the medium and to outliar to outlier to there's variance on the edges, on the fringes there, without even trying, and you continually polarized people just because, in many ways, one people see, okay, she was supposed to be a mediocre person with a disability, staying insider bubble, but look, gg keeps going out and doing remarkable things, making me feel like I'm not doing anything with my life. And so therefore they're going to project on to you and resent you when you yourself like wait, no, it's just my own insecurity trying to fit in. And so after a while you realize that you're not going to win either way. And you know how it goes, that you can talk about postall lock loss like when I was a kid, and people think you're an idiot, right, or you can talk like this and people think you're an asshole when you don't respond to them right when you're feeling uncomfortable, and it's not an easy situation to ask them to repeat themselves because the moment is past or everyone already laughed or had a response to it, so you can't say what was that? So I just like Oh, yeah, you know, I just and then that's not the response you were supposed to give. Nope, it's just you find yourself Committ into things that you know what you're committing to. Yeah, so tell me plans. When, at which age, did you get hearing AIDS? I got hearing gage when I was eighteen months old, and back in a the S, if you have a call. So you born in eighty one as well, right, you was? Yes, yeah, eighty one, so we're the child of the S. and so back then it, which is analog, blasted sound and I hated my hearing gage because they gave me constant splitting headaches and the background beyonce was just as loud as anyone's immediate vocal to you, and so it was just so overwhelming. So any chance I could get I would take them out and just hide them one yeah, insecurity, people noticing I was different, but also it was just sometimes just leave me alone. I want to sit in silence. And hats out to my mother. I thought her tooth and nail every day when she made me wear my hearing gage, made me go to speech therapy, and I didn't tell her thank you until I was twenty one years old. Well, and she was next affecting a thank you. But all of the brunt that she took from me gave me a fighting chance to live the life I wanted to live as an adult. Right and, as you understand, gg it's it's hard being a bridge. Yes, it is when you live in between worlds. Yeah, but intersectionality is what is needed in this world, that right now, when it is so polarized, that we need people with the silent disabilities that know how to reach across the divides and be able to connect with other people and help them learn to have compassionate empathy in a world that desperately needs it. That's right. I agree with you and hundred percent, and I mean, on my God, it's so well said coming out of your mouth and I see why you're such a successful speaker on stages and everything that you do, motivational speaking, everywhere that you go. I really praise that a lot. I read somewhere that in college, when you were playing basketball, that you felt that you didn't get enough playtime because of your hearing disability. Were you not wearing hearing it or was that just them profiling you out because of it? That is so that's a very long, complicated story that I'll do my best to explain. My family escape polygamy when I was thirteen years old. We went into hiding my father with a whistle and child abuse, some money laundering, and that's when I started playing basketball, because all my cousin's, four hundred plus first cousins, have been my best friends and I had to find a way to adapt and fit into this new world. But even though we had broken away from polygamy, I still had this deeply embedded story that at the age of five I had a Sunday school teacher impress upon me that God and maybe deaf as a form of punishment. And so I had this story, the subcons to story driving me that I had to do something stuper human and then God would be proud of me and I'd be worthy of love. And we're all driven by these stories and sometimes you don't stop and ask. Is the story necessarily true until the pain becomes too much, and I'll get to that in a bit. But that story was such a driving factor that once I started playing basketball, I now had the story that I had to be the first death player in the NBA and...

...then God would be proud of me. And so that's what I dove into. No dating, though, girlfriends. I was very shy with my speech and hearing anyway, and dove in the basketball and in one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight I got a scholarship to the University of Utah at the time of top ty program. They had lost a national championship game that year and at first my relationship with coachman Jerry's was a brilliant relationship, beautiful relationship. He was a mastermind coach and I was a type of player that could never do enough because again, in my mind, I was playing for my eternal soul, that I had to do something remarkable to receive love. And so at first it was a perfect match. But then his software year his mother got cancer. Coaches mother got cancer and he began to unravel and got it really personal and began to call me things like a disgrace to cripples and if I was in a wheel turning. So I play basketball is shoot myself and I had to learn to play basketball in different way. I couldn't play basketball at my hearing gids and do the sweat and concussion issues. So I was out there pretty much stone deaf, just learning to keep my head on us, to will read people's body language and trust in the intuition and learned to again the body language. The body never lies, as you know this gg words can lie, to body never lives. Great. And so learning to watch people allowed me to play the game in a very different way and that is what allowed me to be unique and have the career that I had. And but you're still very vulnerable, especially when you're trust seeing these coaches. That's like, Oh well, coach Ma Jerry's is going to help me get to the NBA. So I got to put him on a pedestal because I didn't know how to be a leader of my own life, because I was expecting external circumstances or trophies to give me validation. Right, and that would mean I was worthy of love, and that was the game I was playing for so long, right. And so much Dar to do things like that. And finger spell it, just so there's no miscommunication. Lands capital cunt. That's what you are, and so it wasn't. I never claimed, and this is where the language gets weird, but this is where the lawyers would kick in. I never filed the lawsuit against the Jaris. The University of Utah Launch his own investigation to see if he had, quote, discriminated against me. Discrimination would have been Ma Jarre's not playing me because I had hearing loss. That's not what he did. He's simply use my hearing loss as a means to belittle and humiliate me and isolate me from the team. So it's not the sex sting. Yeah, sexual harassment is not yet gamination. It is, however, against the law. is belittling other people for disabilities. Discrimination, know, but is it against a law? Not Quite right, right, that's that's really it's inhumane, is what it is. It's wrong and people don't realize that what they're doing has many, many, many years, sometimes a lifetime, of an aftershock for us. We're going to take a quick break, but when we come back, what is your shoe size? Fifteen. So the question is, is it true to say about the size of her. I've never had any complaints for this. I did see that when you were with the cavaliers that you said that they picked up more on using hand signals during the game and whatnot. Was that thing? Yeah, I've had good coaches that trusted hand signals, the Cavaliers and the minor league team before that, when I was called up to the NBA. That here's what I would tell these coaches that was so paranoid, like, Oh, we can't let the other team know the play we're running. I'm like, you only have twenty four seconds to run on a play and if you run a good offense, the defense has to give you something that if you've run the screen and rolls, someone's going to be open. They may isolate the week is shooter, but they're giving you something. And so the good coaches who were confident in their system had no problem bringing me in to the fold because they knew that their system was strong and they knew again, with my ability to watch people and recognize patterns quickly, that I was going to learn the offense, the systems very quickly, that even if the hand signal was not called, I could look around and see, okay, small forwards on the right block. That means we're running fourteen high, and then I would pick up where we're at and go from there. And so but here the thing too, is that in the fourth quarter of a lot arena everyone's death. So in the lands very deafness to premierly deaf meand is king. Yeah, that's right, and and that's right learning. But that's the thing is most people quit by halftime, but you just stick around long...

...enough. We were disability. You have you stick around long enough. Eventually the tables were turned and a window of opportunity will come your way. And what has that window been for you? That it was I did not make the NBA until I was twenty seven years old. That's seven years longer than the average rookie. Seven years of heartbreak and disappointment and people telling me you can't do at my very first game as a basketball player in eighth grade, when I started playing as a way to adapt after his scamp family escapable at me. I was ejected because if thought I was ignoring him. And people then said, oh no, he's too deaf, he can't do this, and I said watchman, and I started writing down my goals and I put them above my life. Switch island saw. It will be the first step player in the NBA and we get a scholarship the University of UTAH. I will be a published author, and every time I touched my light switch on or off, I'd read them out loud and have my dreams looked exactly the way I thought they were going to look. Absolutely not like but they've come true in some way, shape or form, and so, trusting in the laws of perseverance and Brazilience, that is not the strong which, or the smartest or the fastest necessaries, who necessarily to survive is those who are most willing to adapt, and adapting is what is needed at this time that we have so many people wanted to hold on. They want things to go back to the way they were, but that's not how nature works, and never at once. How that's how it's worked right. And also, you see all these sports fans who also wanted to go back to the way you used to be. Even'm like, you're failing to learn the lesson there was sports is teaching you right. That is those who are most willing to adapt to the changes in the game that win and you're not seeing that lesson in the broader spectrum. That's and so I understood, with my high threshold of discomfort, that I will acknowledge this right on, that my mother putting me outside of my comfort zone every day at a very avery age gave me a high threshold of discomfort. So that's what allowed me to toil for seven extra years of heartbreak and frustration to make the NBA. Well, let me, and I want to, if I can, ask you a little bit about that. I'd like to know when you were younger and taking your hearing needs off and putting them on, what was life like when they were off? What does your hearing sound like, because there's so many different types of hearing glasses and we all hear things so differently. What do you what is your world like without any hearing devices? Best Way I can articulate it, it's very quiet, but I always kind of have like a dull ringing, a ringing, a ringing, a dull ringing. That's what I can hear, but it's like internal okay, and if I'm not looking at you without my hearing is, I'm not going to hear you, and less if your light behind me and you're a male voice. So my father, I could always hear my father calling talk, speaking to me. I can never hear what it was saying, but if you was close to me, I could hear him in the room and I could look at him. Then I could read his lips. So the best way to articulate it from what I hear with my hearing aids in, and you watch enough movies or whatnot, is sounds like you're constantly underwater. And when someone speaks as if you can hear the deeper tones, if they have a deeper tone and I can hear it, sounds like a teacher from Charlie Brown. This is very good. Okay. For me it's very different. I have an abnormal case where is reverse down slope. So the place that everyone usually has a loss is where I have the the perfect strength, and I have, you know, the other I can't understand speech. So my issue is not sound, it's understanding what that sound is. I can't understand sounds. You know, they all sort of blend together, becomes like a one based tone. I didn't get hearing needs until much older, part of the reason being my family wasn't even aware for a long time that I had a hearing loss. I found it out to my friend's mother was suggesting it to my parents that I get tested. It was just they were very oblivious, I think, to it because I was very functional, because I was reading lips, because I was born with it, so I knew no other way to operate. But I did realize I was getting in trouble in school all the time. I was always not paying attention when someone was calling my name and someone was always mad saying stop ignoring me. I'm like, I didn't hear you, like, Oh, you're a liar, go to your room. You know what I mean. So I went through years and years of that and it was never something when they did find out, it was never something that way was let's figure out a way...

...that it's going to work. Let's figure out what you are comfortable with. It was do you want to get a hearing aid? I'm like, I'm not doing it and you can kill me and I'm not going to fucking do it. And that was it. And I never needed to get a hearing aid and I didn't until I was about thirty degree to thirty three years old maybe, and I got have the ones I have are the lyrics, which are not great quality, but they're the easiest ones because the doctor puts them in and takes them out. I don't have to keep, you know, doing that myself and I can get in the shower with it. But it's just not the quality. But I'll tell you. I had season tickets. Don't get mad, my dad and I are used to be clippers fans. Excuse. Yeah, he's a good season tickets all the time to the clippers. So once I got my hearing devices and I would go to the game, oh, it was like torture. It was much easier to well hear things without my hearing devices going into that arena. The sound it was, it was not bizarre. It was as if everything would go silent because it was too many sounds for my device to break down. You couldn't like, no, I can't adjust them their places place a door, yeah, I can't. So it's like our hearing so different, you know. But then I can hear a phone ringing two houses down. HMM, interest it's a very yeah, it's an oubnormal. It's an abnormal hearing. I got to be careful. I want to talk shit about you. Well, you I can read live. Do you read lips lands? Yeah, I am a lip read and lass I are mostly function because even if my hearing is and if I'm not looking at your lips say it's like yeah, I'll have to look at you. And you know, that's the thing is, when you learn to become so high functioning, even your family members forget and they'll get irritated and frustrated with me and like Hey, I'm sorry, I'm not just make sure I'm looking at you. And your point that you make to the overwhelm of sound, I mean hearing is just shut down. That's another reason why I never played with him man, because the auditory sound, that the Jumbatron, the speakers in the crowd, they were just shut down and so like well, I can't play with him in even for concussion issues or sweat damage. It's just they're just not going to work in a loud arena. And that's the thing is you have your body has adapted and has shown how resilient it is an adjusting to the world around it. So once one when one sense is compromise, others kick in. So my sense of feel is through the roof, my eyesight and smell and taste for all exceptional, and so there are many times a yeah, like people think that I always want to be hearing, like Oh, well, as you want to get the deep inner ear ones are always on them, like no, thank you, because I like being able to take my hearing, you guys, out the end of the day and have everything just be quiet and I can meditate or just contemplate or reflect and have that internal reflection time. Yeah, I have a magnetic stick that if I need to mute it, I couldn't really stick a mag it's a magnetic stick that goes in and it couldn't beep and it just goes mute. Yeah, but there's no taking it out. There's no and you know, I had an unfortunate situation where my when they go out, the battery just dies. It's no a plug on top of that little twenty percent hearing that I do have now it's a plug in there. So it gets it gets really tough. It gets really tough. I know you've written five books. You are a very successful motivational speaker. You go around two different camps, different children's facilities that are suffering with these type of situations, and you give them motivation, you know, and I loved, Love, love this thing. I read about you in what's it called, the NGSC sports and they asked you your favorite moment of being in the League, and this is what his response was. I loved it. My opportunity to visit a deaf school in Cleveland and give back to those kids through my own experiences, letting them know that they can reach their dreams. That, first of all, that was amazing. You didn't say like, you know, being cool with Lebron, like he's the Homie. Now you know what you didn't. It's like it was that moment for you, and that was that was really awesome for me to be able to get a chance to read and it's awesome to be able to get a chance to meet a human like you who really does care and advocate for people like us who just can't hear and who are criticized and in trouble or missing out on a lot, because there is a whole world that we're never going to be able to experience, like music. We're never going to understand music the way most people do and love it. We usually kind of turn it down because it's a little hard on us. You know what I mean. So I'm really grateful to people like you and I would love it if I can have you back on at some point and just be able to talk to you more, because I've read a lot about your books and each book is quite interesting and I would love to...

...get into some of those. And those are very different topics than this conversation, but I'm very, very grateful for you being here and opening up the doors to this world and it's not anything anyone should be ashamed of. And I know that you are involved with camps for kids, camps. Is that something you would like to talk about right now and maybe just let people know what's out there for kids? That's the thing. As I do, what I normally do, is I've learned to be efficient that wherever I go and I give a corporate keynote or consulting, I'll use you also organize with a deaf community in that area for a while I'm there to also spend a day with the kids and coast him and basketball, so that I'm killing two words with one stone wherever I go. That my speaking circuit career is allowing me to reach a very broad audience and demographic, geographical range and its will. Thank you also, as want to say thank you for bringing up that memory, because on many mornings in my mid s when I was still trying to make the NBA and I was so discouraged after a while, pride doesn't really get you very far anymore that it was. I've I've come so far that I know if I can just get across this final bridge, I would be able to use my life as a platform to inspire and also speak on behalf of many other marginalized people. I love him. That's some morning gig. Was All that I had. I love that. I would love to join forces with you if I ever can. If you ever have an opportunity like that where I can join you in a location, I will fly there. I'll be there, because I am learning a lot about myself that I have not been advocating well enough for myself. As far as my hearing disability, I have just found ways to adjust so it's easier on other people, because I don't like being that person that keeps having to say what, can you repeat that? Can You repeat that? Can You repeat that? And then they were just like fuck it, they don't say it anymore. You know what I mean. So I would love to be a part of that, to motivate youth, to let them understand you can have a really cool, successful life. You can be an NBA player, you could be ten years on television and still be deaf and it's going to be cool, it's going to be fine and you're going to get on. You know, I would love to be a part of that. Thank you so much, Lance, for being here, for sharing and opening up with us. I really appreciate you. Yeah, I appreciate you, and gg I see what all this is cost you too. It's not easy to be a bridge. It's not that we don't want to inconvenience to world, but you learn over time, through enough. Harden knows that's what your job is too, inconvenience two world, to shatter it so people learn to step more into empathy and compassion. Absolutely, and that's what you're here to do. Absolutely, I love that. Thank you so much. Less Anita is over here. She puts together these little games that we have. It's fun. We like to always make sure we leave the show with a little happy note. Right. Yes, that's what our needs for. Yes, all right, a lot of other questions for you, to, but all that's just a whole nother she's obsessed with your heights. A lot of her or her selling questions are about just how do you if we got term and ask me a question before you do your quipe. What? Okay, so you played not just for the NBA, your player, you've played for many mid the league all over the world. Well, what's the difference with like you, because you it's the same thing, like you couldn't do use your hearing aids for that. Like yeah, so thing NBA. What's the difference at auditorially is that? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, so why would you play and it was fine and then when he went to the NBA, was tough for it to like you did. Ah, not hearing. Every arena is so loud once you get to the college level, and then you're playing overseas, those overseas arenas in Turkey or Israel or a guitar Ukraine, they're even more hostile than NBA arenas because they had the drum, you say, have the bonfires. Okay. So what were you successful there and the other league and then not, like what happened that you just didn't want to keep the hearing aids in for the NBA. You said it was like I didn't, I didn't came. I hearing is in any of it anyway? He didn't. He said on the court he can for other res The realm never was able to get headaches or just so yeah, because when I was in ninth grade I got headbutted in my hearing aid and it shattered in my ear canal and I had to have stitches and a major concussion. And so from then I just didn't wear them for safety reasons anywhere. Okay, and then did and between, I think you stopped playing in two thousand and fifteen. Two Thousand and fifteen I was going through a divorce and I retired to be with my son. Okay, so did between now and or then and now, do you think that the...

...technology has gotten better in any way, or the technology has gone better? The Bluetooth stuff is pretty cool and all that. It's a pretty cool good age to be deaf, I'll tell you. While those things kick in, there's still just some things that, no matter how good a technology got, to cats. There's also a part of my brain, the ownly works as a lip reader, that still trying to have me close my eyes and be an auditorial listener and auditorial learner. My brain is in program to really store and process information that way that, even if the technology continues to grow and it will continue to get better and better, that my body and brain is adapted to learn, to be a very visual learner and can estatically. Okay, no more serious stuff. Let's get I was seriously, you really got him thinking. Those are our game questions, because this guy, this is the game. I enjoyed these questions. You could, so forgive me, I have sinned. Is Orgas Our Name of a game. And okay, so before I start with my first question, what is what is your shoe size? Fifteen. So the question is, is it true to say about the size of your feet? I've never had any complaints with you. Okay, very very world, very well, very pecy, very heasy. Love that answer. Are you singles? My yes, AH, wow, this is my gage. Your next of my guys are so you single? Yes, okay, she's from Ohio. Okay, but what of Ohio? borderies and Dayton and then, okay, to Ohio, states, elevant Columbus for four years and then I can hire. I liked my time in Ohio. I enjoy you hire people. How long are yes, that's one thing I do miss is the people. Yeah, a little Nice, genuine. You're a very good person. Your she's like one of my sweetest, most purest friends, and I'm it's because she's from Ohio and she's Asko. She's very athletic lands. I think you have to be when you're in Ohio, because she's then she's very, very bendy. It's Nance there's nothing to do, and it was nothing to do but bend bess. Well, what I appreciate is that this conversation is just as authentic as a show. So let's me know you're actually being the same person wherever you go. Sort of good. Ask You your question. When you played for the cavaliers, was there ever a chess or a time that you had a pass the bottle Lebron and you're like fuck it, I'm just going to take it myself and just no, but he passed it to me a few times. Usually like no, if it bombs up, I'm just going to give on the ball, you know, but he was kind of have to give it to me a few times. I say okay, thank you, yeah, I'll look cool holding the ball as you just pass it to the mare. Oh that's great. Well, thank you. So joy time of the bond. He was a good due. When I showed up he saw my worn out size fifteen d league shoes and he says what size shoe you have at fifteen and need to hear take a pair of mine. And so he was. I always enjoyed my time with the bone. He was a good dude and people that't understand. He's one of the most intelligent people I've ever known. That's just basketball players, so whip smart. He's a smart guy. My Dad always speaks very highly of La Fun. My Dad's a huge, huge NBA Fan, and I told him I was interviewing you. He made the space because he's a Persian Dad. He made that like you got people coming on your show now. Hum, okay, Dad, step back. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, lance for being here. I do want to leave with just saying one thing, that your condition. With monitor medicine and advancements, we do have ways of checking pregnant women. You know, for these situations it is basically an antid and to body which is overactive and in the mother's body and it affects the fetus and the child that's growing inside, and they fix it with an injection these days, and these are very important for pregnant women to see doctors and get get them medical need. I mean, I'm a mother. I even though I know that my hearing condition is not genetic, it was the biggest fears of mine and you know, I was making sure I was really on top of all these things. But thank you so much, Lance. Thank you for this time in this you're very you speak very well, you really do. I would love to get together with you and do something again. Yeah, it would be fun. Thank you both for having me and thanks for showing up in the world. Thank you. Thanks. We're going to take a quick break, but when we come back, I actually I I get offended. I get very offended when people are like, she's deaf, she can't hear. I'm like, you're fucking fat, you shouldn't be eating, but I don't go around saying that at every...

...restaurant. You know what I mean? Like I hate that ggi you feeling okay? I Oh, I'm under the weather. This is actually the last of it. I took a Covid test yesterday and I'm completely nut going to but my son having that was his first cold. It freaks me out. I didn't know what to do. I was fucking out. Are Yeah, I'm seeing him not be able to breathe was beating me up, like I have a hundred electrical devices that are supposed to suction it, like vacuums and and I couldn't even make it work. I don't know. But he's better. I'm finally, you know, on the flip side of it and I'm feeling better. Thank you for asking. Thanks the UT make my my daughter or head or herst fever. I was like, what do I do? I Gn't like go of you like how do I? You know now, fine, but you remember? Do you remember that first fever? Not Her first fever. She was she was like thirteen months or something like that. Same as Eli. He's fifteen months. Oh my goodness Gary. But he didn't, he didn't like fever up it was like close to a fever. So thank God it was like a quick bug, good bug, but been like you're always usually happy and they're the little thing, like right, and then I caught it a day and a half after he got it, and I also have an autoimmune disease, so having any kind of a cold is scary for me. You know what I mean. So it's been rood. I'm good. I'm good. I'm excited to be talking to you. To be very honest. Anita Hi over here. She's very excited as well, because Anita is a dear friend of mine and I see that Anita has a hard time sometimes understanding our world. You know, okay and our world are so unique independently in the hearing lost community that, you know, it's hard to sum it up be like, well, this is what you do in someone's hard of hearing, because it doesn't work like that. There's so many different types of hearing loss and I was just speaking to lance all RIDD which is the first NBA player to be legally deaf and he has eighty percent hearing loss from our h complications at birth. Okay, and our AH, our H, I think, gets pronounced Russ is that it's not the right pronunciation. Our H hear pronouncing. Yeah, it's a medical word. It's apparently the mother or the host is having some deficiency and a blood cell counting and not enough stuff is getting to the baby and it affects different things. Hearing is also one of them. So he got that. Your story is very interesting because you are not just an amazing pediatric audiologist, which we're going to get to, but you are actually someone who was born into this lifestyle and your story. I was reading it, I was why I was so intrigued. When I was seeing the part about you know, if you bump your head on something, it got worse, I was like wait, I need to I need to understand this. So if you don't mind telling us, you know your story. Absolutely. So back in with what innate, one thousand nine hundred and eighty three, and they didn't do hearing screenings in the hospitals back then. Now most of the states here in the United States, the hospital screen the babies before you even leave the hospital. Correct. So because of that, I didn't get diagnosed until I was about three or four years old. Okay, my mom said, my teacher, my preschool teacher, said, I would sneak off on my own, either like during story time and just either get a book for myself or I would sing in the corner. Missus, who you should? You should get your daughter hearing check, because I just have a few concerns and my mom she was floored. She's like, what are you talking about? I was talking, I was answering her questions in Chinese and English and she just surprised her. But as I look at patients now, I do see that, because when your child is you know, one, two, three, they're almost always near you. Right. So I had a mild hearing loss at that time. Okay, with some hearing less you can still hear people if they're talking to you, when they're like holding you or you're sitting on their lap. Of course you're going to hear your parents and of course, like this is how I developed some speech and language in the beginning. Right, okay, me as born with something called pen Drid Syndrome and and large vistibular aqueducts, so that Coclea, that snail shell portion and that ear wasn't developed all the way. Okay, so for me, when I hit my head, my hearing loss would get worse. Ok, I have to make my hearing aid programming stronger...

...or get bigger hearing aids. Okay, I grow Git of hitting my head. I was like something's going to happen anytime I hit my head like I didn't want to do any you're such a young, young child, and at that age we're purposely hitting our heads on things and, you know, running around being silly. So how does a child understand that concept? You can, and how do you stop them? Right, you know, right deep she's not gonna she wasn't going to follow me around and like protect me every moment or wrap me up in bubble wrap, even though she probably wanted to write. But at the same time, it happened for me maybe every two years. Okay, and they can catch on until a little bit later because back then we didn't have the technology to figure out exactly what was having or causing my hearing loss. Right. So it's not something that would it's not genetic. It's something that you're it's like no one else in your family has this. My syndromes are genetic. So it is for me. Both of my parents carried it's a recessive, recessive syndrome. Okay, both of my parents had to be carriers. So when they had kids, one in four chance of those kids would have that, and that was me. Okay, but I know some families that have three kids and they all have it. Right. That's one present. Dans. Never know, right, you never know, and your kids are fine. So for me, my kids will always be carriers, but they won't never have the type of hearing lost that I have, because my husband doesn't carry yet. Okay, and then with the spit test for him. But I was kind of nervous. Oh, you know when I got big and Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, I almost forgot I had a syndrome like wait, our kids, like, do we want to check it out? Right, because sure I am. I've been told. You know, Oh, you would be the greatest role model for your kids if you if they have hearing loss. Right. But there's a part of me that says, Hey, I get to have the I have the right to say I don't want them to have hearing loss. Right, I know what I went through. Right, I don't want them to go through that. Right, but you know your son, my kids are, they're something's going to challenge them, correct something set them back, but it's how they go through that situation and how they come out of it. It is really what defines their personality. It's right show their strength, who they're going to be. You know, I think that's very true because I went most of my life, I would say, without being able to openly tell people I had was hard of hearing. It was just survival and I think I was also a very aggressive person growing up because I missed, construed or didn't understand half the things that were being sad I had my own set of inger issues on the side. So combining that together, it was what the fact did you say about me, bitch, because I could swear I thought they said something. And my amount of lip reading became so profound at some point that, you know, the noisier it was around me and the further away they were, the better it was for me to read their lips and I just knew what everyone was saying. I was like, Oh my God, he's talking about us. But you know, you, you're right. You you have to adapt to your environment and you have to be that structure for your child to have that proper environment. And I know that you your your parents were suggested to for you to do the cocklearom plant and they kind of passed up on that. was that for any particular reason? So my I think I were the cooker implant candidate around age ten, audiologically speaking. So when somebody is evaluated for coker implants. There's a lot of team players. It's a big decision and it's a significant surgery. You want the surgeon to look at you, the audiologist, and if you're a child, we take a look at speech and language Delay Development, physical development, cognition and also motivation. If I say to a twelve year old, you know you're a great candidate, I think you'd be. I think you would do really well with it, but they don't want it. Who To say do the surgery and they just put the device in the drawer right. So the order person or a child is really want to take a look at and respect their motivations or non motivation. You don't know what they're afraid of if they perhaps don't even want to hear. Some people love being in silence or part of the deaf community or part of deaf culture. That is what I was going to ask you because I swoo was speaking to my audiologist recently about, you know, the movie the sound of metal, which for me was an amazing movie because I feel like that was the closest thing to remotely explaining a little bit of what it feels like in sounds like. But I was talking to her about it and she was saying that that really is...

...a culture of people that are in the deaf community, that that will go after people who get the implants or, you know devices, and I didn't understand, like that's a why? Why? Why wouldn't someone want to hear? Do they say this is God's doing and that's it? Why not? Better, you're why? Why we're clothing? If that's the case, why are you wearing clothes? You know, because God meets naked? I don't. So do you know? Because I feel like you're on in this love field in a more professional way as an audiologist. Do you know what these reasons are? So, personally, I'm not a hundred percent in deaf culture a deaf community. I grew up in a hearing world. However, there are a couple of documentaries, sound of fury, there is a story about two brothers, one of hearing and one of deaf. Deaf brother married a deaf woman and had a deaf child. Hearing brother married a hearing woman and they had a deaf child and they chose to go with the Cook Grim Plant. So it really talks about the conflicts of between within the family. But think about it. If you don't know something, you don't Miss It. Right. Like, for Ex, I tell parents it's harder to acquire a hearing loss than it is to grow up with one. Right, I wouldn't und so I would probably in the most happy child. All right, I can't represent the deaf community, but I can say like they see it as a gift. is wonderful, and not everybody in the deaf culture against Cook orm plants. Right. There really is. I interviewed somebody last week. She was a deaf child who was born into a hearing family. Her entire family learned sign language for her. Is Beautiful. She went to Galad at university, met a deaf husband and she has one deaf child and one hearing child. Wow, oh, her children get the best of both worlds because they have hearing family members. Their one one hearing child, so he knows how to sign and uses spoken language, and their deaf daughter, they actually decided to get a cook gram plant so she can have both the both worlds. But Emily, my friend, doesn't well right now. She doesn't have a cook landplant. I don't know if she wants to. Right. So, when you say you know how come they don't want to hear. Whatever reasons, right they it's just want to do. Maybe it's a part of their culture, what they grew up in. If you say clothes, of course this nudist colonies. That there too. Yeah, who never want to wear clothes? My sometimes my kids never want to wear clothes. Right. Can I ask you a question on a personal stand I have situations almost daily where people again still call me, or if I'm even sitting next to someone in a restaurant in you we on a restaurants are always playing music and there's cars driving by and all this and that. So I miss a lot sometimes and I sometimes ask so many times for that person to repeat it that they get so frustrated that they just say fucking never mind, and it sucks and then the whole mood goes dark for me because then I'm like, this is my issue that I'm having. Why couldn't you help me a little bit more? But in the same token, it's my issue. Why should it be theirs? So I'm kind of conflicted between the two and I don't know how to do it, because they're aware that I have a hearing. Last they are aware I were hearing. He's but still they get frustrated with me. So you saying if you say to someone and think about it, what if they don't know anybody with hearing last they don't know what it's like. So in that moment you're like why, I can't hear? Say it again, and they're like, Oh, I'm put on the spot. What does she want me to do? They might not know how to say it again. Right might know or some people might not know that you want them to say it verbatim right, the same they did, or do you do they do you want them to rephrase it? I actually I I get offended. I get very offend and when people are like she's deaf, she can't hear, I'm like, you're fucking fat, you shouldn't be eating. But I don't go around saying that at every restaurant. You know what I mean. So you have allowed. You have allowed in a very clear voice. So how would they know that you can't hear that? Right? And some survival mechanism I used to use was I would either talk loudly and take over the conversation, or I would point all of the questions at them so that I wouldn't have to work to listen, they wouldn't know I didn't hear something. Smile and Nud during their answer and they, you know, they're like, oh, how would they know? Yeah, but something I said last week I gave a script of I mean, and I was aggressive and blunt and rude...

...before two and I still am sometimes. But I tell my children, or I taught my patients and adults, what you have to say is important to me. Could you either write that part down, could you slow down your speech? Can we turn the music down or whatever? Right now I'm using a it's called AVA. It's a clothes captioning APP. So you and me, I'm talking into my phone and I have it captioning right now. Show you if you can. Yeah, I need that. So, yeah, like, Oh my God, I didn't you that in the restaurants. So see how I was. I saying what I'm saying. I love that. I didn't even know that. Honestly, I think that that is probably what my issue is always been. I was about twelve, thirteen years old when they discovered I be hearing loss and it was left alone until, you know, later my late s where it was again. I kept I was tested periodically through my life but because it would never change in the type of hearing loss that I had. The doctor said, I sit you actually my chart, you know, I got my doctor was like you said it. I wanted to send it to doctor who so it's they said, yeah, this is something that's usually a birth to fact or extreme like some sort of extreme trauma to your head, like a coccident or something, and I was like, I've never had that. So I like, regardless of what caused or hearing loss, you can do something about it. You said you've been trying different types of devices. Maybe something else would be a better option. You don't know. Work with the audiologist to see what would give you the best access. Well, you're hearing process significant. You have a moderately STA beer hearing loss. That means you're missing so many sounds. You need them louder, but not necessarily like if you go to the movie theater and they turn the volume out right, is a need or Amida Anita need time. I need a if they're turning that sound and blasteding it on, or if you're at a concert it's not clear, it's distorted, it's too much. So if there's something that gg has and you just turn. You're saying it loud or loud or louder. Well, the tone of voice disappears. She thinks you're angry at them. If you're just being louder, then you start fighting because it's a wall that can't hear me. That's usually that's usually us. anyways, it's some people eat. I hate facetiming and I do it for you. Yeah, sometimes, but you still call what I call her time. I still call me a lot, but it's out of habit. It's like, I just hate facetiming anyone, but I'm not deaf. Out of habit, though, but I just I should. Yeah, yeah, so sometimes I'm like and then we were like talking and talking and then you get mad and angry and I got frustrating, like I don't know what I can say. You're on the phone. It's just up and I'm like deep, there are there are some devices that you could try. I don't know what. I don't know what would be best appropriate for your I'm using the worst one right now. I'm literally I'm using the lyric, and I'm only using the lyric because it's the easiest and most convenient. The doctor puts him in three months later takes and they're the worst. Slid right now. I know, I know, I know, and you'll be surprised. Like, I can, I'm streaming. I can stream my phone through both years. Yeah, I can have stations in a dark car while I'm driving or whatever, and my hearing most I would feel a fire truck before I heard it if I didn't have my devices on. Wow, have you, because this is another question. That's the game. Ye, this. Have you ever used you're hearing, like impairment or loss whatever, to get out of a date growing up? Like, did you ever like it was a bad date in your life? She's just like you're like shaking her head, like yeah, how did you get out of the date? Not to get out of a date, but I've used it like to get out of doing two wars. What do you mean? Like I didn't. Yeah, I've been told. My friends in Grad School would tell me when we're going out at a bar party with friends. They're like, Michelle, three guys just tried to hit on you and I was like, Oh, I didn't even a great for some sits. Sometimes I had a boyfriend. I'm like, okay, whatever, I don't care. Yeah, I've never used it to. I've used it to get out of doing things. Yeah, or need to say, should like getting out of the test or something, as you can't get okay, yeah, okay. And then this is the last fun one. I here we go. What has been the worst kitchen disaster, because you are a chef and you and you've gone into the culinary school. What's like the worst, amazing, what's like the biggest disaster in the kitchen? Oh Gosh, I think for me the most dangerous is either steam or a mandolin, you know, like taking a pot off boiling water. And I didn't burn...

...my faith or anything, but my arms have been burned and I've F lifed all of my fingers tips off with mandolins and it's horrid to grow back, but like it's bad. And then, probably the hardest thing was I had a culinary school final and it was the dessert final and I was trying to do Moose, but I was buy a window and it was like a hundred degrees that day. My Shin Melting. I can't do this, speaking of melting the child of my own. Yeah, my God. Thank you so much for playing and need this game and thank you so much for this educational, informative and very personal conversation. Thank you so much and I will see you on instagram. Yes, absolutely, which out whenever questions you have go Bucky, Ohio state. I really like Dr who we too. I feel like we could have spoken ours, ours right, great stories, great stories, great experience, first hand experience for herself, and I do feel like we just started brushing the surface of everything right, because there's so much to talk about in her past, in my past, and there was so much to talk about in Lance has passed and in my past, and just being able to go between the two. Both of them have different stories, different UPBRINGINGS, different types of hearing loss, different routes and professions in life, but both of them became successful because of their disabilities. You know what I mean. So it was just pretty cool to see that, you know, together to see that. And I'm just wondering, where's my success? Like ten years of shawls. You made my means. I have a list, I mean from Thomas Edison Beethoven like I like. Well, I remind me of the people who are brilliant. I'm saying, what about me? Your number six on my list. Oh, you didn't tell me that you've done a lot. Let me see that. Let me see it on yours, that I'm number sex. Might be a second to find it on without a pain, though, right, you don't need a pen to find to do no, let me see where my name is, number sex on that is God, look where. Oh my God, it's Ursula. She's coming to take your seat. See, those are my list persons coming to take your place, because you're took one to six. I'm number six. I'm number six. Oh, she really did have it in there, didn't she? You could do. You have done a lot. You've yeah, and just even this, like coming out and sharing with the world what you're going through. Yeah, and is a big stuff, you know, like you're sharing and you're getting other other people to do that with a discipline. Yeah, okay, with our a be okay with here, you know. So it's like you've done a lot. Yeah, I feel like that's what I'm trying to do now, and I feel like I needed things like shows of senset, and I still need it to help me. Gave me this platform that now I feel like I'm able to put it to some educational use, informative use, and there's still so much left to talk about this field and so many other fields. So if you have a specific topic that you want me to talk about, write it in the reviews. Let me know what you're thinking. What should I do? More of less of here? Should I need a date lance? Should we go there and you know, you know, pimper out? I think we should. Yeah, subscribe. Way, please. We do that. I need the dating. I need dating help. So we need to do the whole speed dating dating advice before were so I don't like a screw it up with lance fail. I got one shot with him. Let's take that out. Okay, no, we really even that in, because I want lance to hear. Oh God, okay, lands she she only has one shot with them, one shot and she's going to practice. Oh No, pen intended. Do you have to pass practice basketball? I got five seconds to play my whole basketball career and I had air ball. I'm not a good basketball player. That's that's when a start to wance, for I fucking suck at ice. I'm like, good, you're very good at sports. Every sport, said basketball, but I made the team anim award for my they never played you because you only had five seconds. I was not good, but I got the award for being the fastest runner on the basketball teams. That it was fun. Subscribe. Subscribe, subscribe. I.

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